Vanilla Em

I’m so fed up with Panfilo “Ping” Lacson’s shenanigans again on Senate, cawking shit instead of doing his job, here’s a nice ditty.

—–==========—–

The Real Ping Lacson

[Ping Lacson]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Ping Lacson please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Ping Lacson please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here..

Y’all act like you never seen a dumb Senator before
Jaws all on the floor like President Arroyo just burst in the door
And started flarin’ her temper worse than before
They first were reporters, then it’s broadcast equipment (Ahh!)

It’s the return of the…
“Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding, he didn’t just shit what I think he dumped, did he?”
Pareng Erap said… nothing you idiots!
That fat asshole’s campaigning ahead of schedule! (O-ho!)

Real homosexuals love Ping Lacson {*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*}
“Ping Lacson, I’m sick of him, look at him, accusing Villar of the you-know-what, flippin’ Joker Arroyo,”
“Yeah, and that’s stupid though!”

Yeah, I do really got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than those idiots in Arroyo’s Cabinet room
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can’t
but it’s cool for Ramon to host TV shows

“There’s 200-million insertions, there’s 200-million insertions”
And if I’m lucky, it might just give me a voting boost
And that’s the message that I deliver to voting turds
And expect them not to know what a “C-5 road extension” is

Of course OFWs gonna know what I said is
By the time now hit May 2010
They got the TFC channel don’t they?

“We ain’t nothing but Senators..” Well, one of us morons
Once promised to jump from a plane but didn’t do afterwards {*bang*}
But if we can make up promises and break them afterwards
then there’s no reason that Jose Pidal isn’t the first gentleman
{*EWWW!*} But if you lie like I lie, I have no antidote
Voters wave your midfingers, shut the fuck up and this goes

Chorus: Ping Lacson (repeat 2X)

I’m Ping Lacson, yes I once advertized a booze
All you other Ping Lacsons can just kiss my anus
So won’t the real Ping Lacson please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Ping Lacson]
Manny V. don’t gotta be in the military to win his seat;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a survey?
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me

“But Ping, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird?”
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, place my name next to Manny V.?
Shit, Francis Pangilinan better switch me place
so I’ll be seen next to De Castro and Loren L.
and see their fucking votes miscounted in my favor

Those fucking shits dare critique me on the Senate now
“Denouce what you want, we’re not policemen here, hee-hee!”
I should dig more on this insertion thing
and show the whole world how the fuck I won a Senate seat {*AHHH!*}

I’m sick of you majority and minor groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to implode you {*bzzzt*}
And there’s a million of voters just like me
who lie like me; who has a hair commercial like me
Salvage like me; walk, talk, bullshit like me
and just might be the next worst thing but not quite me!

Chorus: Ping Lacson (repeat 2X)

I’m Ping Lacson, yes I’m the bitch from Uranus
All you other Ping Lacsons can just kiss my anus
So won’t the real Ping Lacson please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Ping Lacson]
I’m like the worst solon to listen to, cause I’m only givin’ you
things most solons joke about inside their jacuzzi room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y’all and I don’t gotta be true or grandstanding at all

I just get on the podium and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you politicians out can
Then you wonder how can the press eat up my words like valiums

It’s funny; cause at the rate I’m goin when I’m sixty
I’ll be the only person still believing in that ZTE scandal
Promoting Lozada’s crap when I’m campin’ off with campaigning
And I’m campaigning but this whole bag of shenanigans aren’t working

And every single person is a Ping Lacson lurkin
He could be workin for the government, spying on the auditors
{*EEWW*} Or in the Senate Hall, screaming
Saying “good cop, bad cop”
with his zipper down and his nipples up

So, will the real Lacson please stand up?
Accuse one of those presidentiables once each month?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus: Ping Lacson (repeat 2X)

I’m Ping Lacson, a Senator without a use
All you other Ping Lacsons can just kiss my anus
So won’t the real Ping Lacson please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Ping Lacson]
Ha ha
Guess there’s a Ping Lacson in all of us
Fuck it, let’s all stand up

Advertisements

~ by lancelotreadman on September 27, 2008.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: